Monday, June 27, 2011

A Long Dating

It is so simple to think that love is sweet and happy. Yes it is, but there are much more complications and considerations that challenge the bond formed by a couple.

So you long for an unconditional love?
“The will to stay together through good and bad” is the condition to unconditional and everlasting love!

It sounds contradicting that there is still condition to unconditional love, but true. Many things are not logical because it is love. Every relationship has its good and bad times, if one cannot manage and quits at bad time, progress cannot be made. If one manages the bad times and enjoys the good times, the relationship thrives. With the courage in both of us to overcome difficulties at bad times, our relationship grows. The search for the most important person in my life is the search of this one person who has the same courage as me to stay together and go through difficulties. It is certainly not easy to find one with the same courage.

People said that serious union of a couple is a matter of 6 people, not just 2 people. The 6 are: you, your lover, your parents and your lover’s parents. When parents come into the picture, many more things should be considered. Many challenges can be encountered.

I list out here what I think constitute love: “happiness, gifts, commitment, promise, belief, hope, quarrel, understanding, forgiveness”. Everything in the world become so beautiful when you feel you are loved, when you feel you are not alone every minute and every second, when you feel for sure someone is thinking of you all the time.

Before meeting Minna, I have never received any gifts from girls that really make me happy. I received self-made cookies from a girl before, whom I don’t think I’m suitable to, and I did nothing in return but just a polite “thank you” after several days receiving the gift. One girl gave me a Koala bear keychain and I perceived it as a friendship gift and I gave it to my younger sister because my sister really likes Koala bear and I had been thinking to buy her one. Some female friend gave me chocolate. I thank her, eat it and did nothing in return too. Minna’s first gift to me was very impressive and surprising, though it is just a small gift.

When I received Minna’s first letter in hardcopy, I touched the envelope and I felt something hard inside. I knew it was something more than just a letter. When I open it I saw a handmade bracelet with color very suitable to me. I was so delighted and there is no word to describe the good feeling the moment I saw the gift. It is a gift more than just a gift! From the one I love, to me with all her thoughts during, before and after the making of the gift. Thank you Minna. I’ll keep this first gift I receive from you as long as it lasts, if I could, until the day I leave the world.

When do you first feel the sense of commitment to one you date? It is always the case that when people fall in love, there is still much doubt about the relationship, much desire to keep some freedom to look around. In the starting of our relationship I frequently had the thought of leaving it if the feeling goes wrong, but not anymore when I realized the relationship is made of sincere and devoted love. I cannot pinpoint exactly when I have changed and made the full commitment, but I’m sure I have. It is perhaps a period of time that we build our commitment to each other. It is we and only we now. No more doubt and no more insecurity, no more considerations for other potential love. This stage is not easy, and if you still feel insecurity or doubt in your relationship after many years together, it is not a surprise.

Relationship without quarrel or at least argument is not a serious relationship because relationship is something we worked for to understand each other about all the similarities, differences, agreements and disagreements. The chance of meeting someone, who has no difference from you and agrees with you in everything and is not you yourself, is zero! Minna and I went through the difficulties from a number of times of quarrel. If we didn’t care to be serious, we would not have cared enough to endure the quarrel and find the best way to continue with each other. Misunderstandings are forgiven for the sake of both of us. I’m very proud of our relationship because I’m able to go through good and bad with Minna. I have stated my promise with her.

Now, Minna and I hold the same dreams, hope and beliefs about the relationship. We have a long dating. Realizing dreams. No matter where the future leads us to, we’ll go there, together.

(This is Minna and TK’s story episode 3; episode 1 was posted on 8th May 2011 titled “The beginning”, Minna followed up episode 1 with “A new fantastic point of view... ♫♫”; episode 2 are “Heart to Heart” and “A son-in-law to love”)

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